Paul Ryan Wants to Know What Happened as Long as No One Finds Out

God_as_Gipper

Paul Ryan, seen here receiving an intelligence briefing from valued aides, goes on the record about the alleged Russian hacking of the 2016 election.

Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House, 3rd in line for the presidency if you don’t count Ivanka Trump, has come out with his most robust statement about the rumored hacking by Russian state agents to influence the 2016 presidential election which is sure to prove just how independent he will be during the Trump presidency.

“What Donald Said. Or Mitch. Both, I guess. I don’t know. You tell me,” Paul Ryan said decisively to an aide who passed it on as a brief statement to the press as Ryan stood forcibly behind his office door pretending not to be in.

This is not the first time that Paul Ryan has so blatantly demonstrated a strong indifference in reaction to Donald Trump by kinda not giving a statement for or against him when prodded incessantly by a press looking for any kind of dissent from the man who has already proven his mettle by standing up to the Tea Party Caucus more or less.

Which goes to show us all, Paul Ryan has exactly nothing to prove to anyone.

 

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Ivanka Trump is new FLOTUS, Will Be First SAWHM*

Donald Trump has picked his daughter Ivanka Trump First Lady Of The United States as well as her reported Secret Service code name which will be “My daughter. . .” while cupping both of one’s hands over one’s chest as to imply a big bosom. Whether or not Jared Kushner will join her in the White House has not been discussed but has most likely been decided.

Melania Trump, who was also in the running for FLOTUS, released a statement.

“The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.”

When it was pointed out that this quote was somewhat reminiscent of a quote some may attribute to former First Lady Jaqueline Kennedy, Melania said Kennedy didn’t even know Donald so how could she say such things about him. She then pointed out that “Donald is still alive, unlike some husbands. I am winking now to demonstrate that while I do not name his name but I mean her husband. Whose name is not on the tip of my tongue right now.” The rest of the statement can be found here.

Ivanka’s tenure will not be the first time a woman other than a spouse has performed this duty for their father.  Harriet Lane ran the White House for her uncle, James Buchanan. The Tyler daughters also took on the duties of First Ladies for their father. “It happened all the time for a lot of presidents,” Trump bellowed to no one in particular. “It’s not creepy at all so many people are saying that it is not. It’s so normal.”

*Stay at the White House Mom

He’s Jewish. So, there you go.

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Trump Doesn’t Want Intelligence.

So, here we are, finally. A president that rejects the many crutches offered it by the ObamaCare of Spydom, the CIA and its ilk. Rather than have his intellect be hobbled by the doomsayings of a community that depends on the president being hobbled and in need of the aforementioned crutches which only they can supply, Trump is walking away from the briefings, these death panels meant to kill any idea that Trump, using his years of thinking about the world in which time he never depended on the twice aforementioned crutches, will think of when it it comes to dealing with the world. Artful in his dealings, I might add.

Trump, in a glorious tactical maneuver not unlike the first man to leap from a cliff into what he presumed to be clear, sparkling water below without first ascertaining if there was in fact clear, sparkling water below, has literally* jumped from a cliff into what he has presumed to be clear, sparking water below. And thank God, he has brought the United States along with him in this thrilling endeavor that will most assuredly end well. For who needs intelligence when we are being led by a man like Trump thinks he knows more than all the generals and spies the fevered ranks of the so-called intelligence community. If they are so good at their jobs, they should already know that Trump will be so much better at those jobs than they are.

The American people know that Trump would not benefit from these briefings, I am almost sure of. And, by the way, so does the world, especially Russia I am most certain of.

*By literally I mean figuratively since he can’t take us all over said cliff at once. That would call for a much larger cliff than any Mexican seaside resort could offer. Plus, there is no way we all could get off work at the same tim to go to that resort if it even existed.

 

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Let Freedom Ring Twice As Loud Once Again.

I have been resurrected. In that I have found some free time once again to speak of being Frey. Jeffrey Frey. Perhaps it is the dawning of a new age into which the world has stepped in. To. Perhaps it is the awakening of the sleeping masses to a breath of fresh air coming out of the one place you would never have suspected. From the liberal wilderness that is Mad Hattan, comes a voice that is as clear and crisp and rigid as the follicles that distinguish the speaker. His words to us a clarion call that has torn down one wall so as to build yet another greater wall.

And it is on his shoulders, this giant, that I now perch, suddenly assured that my words, will be accepted, and perhaps shared, without the hinderance of worrying about the facts. I need not worry about being correct, politically or otherwise, ever again. With impunity, I strike at the very ills that I think are wrong with the world. Not matter where they strive to destroy us or if they thrive at all.

As for my reemergence. You are welcome to it.

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Romney Ridiculed For Doing Something Lincoln Kind of Did

As Lincoln did before him, Romney filled his cabinet post with people whom he disagreed with. In Romney’s case, it was with people who were women who worked outside the home.

Romney was again ridiculed by the liberal media and the social media and late night talk show hosts and some tribesman of a small cargo cult deep in the Amazon Basin, for pointing out that he had actually gone out of his way to find those few women qualified to work for his government.

So which is it, people? Do you want women hired or not? I bet Obama never collected binders full of women so he and his staff could leaf through them, looking at each woman’s statistics, picturing themselves with each one, wondering how things would work out if they did in fact choose her. How did she feel about family? Did she have kids? If not, did she want kids? And finally, when she had kids, who would he get to replace her? I bet these things never even cross Obama’s mind.

Some people are trying to say that they aren’t upset that Romney hired women, it’s that he said he didn’t know any qualified women to begin with. Well, come on. That makes perfect sense to me. Mitt Romney was not a politician, he had worked in private sector up until 2002 1999. And not just any private sector, but business finance. You know numbers. And we all know, and by we I mean Mitt, Larry, and I, women and math just don’t add up.

Other pundits are trying to point out that what Mitt Romney describes sounds very similar to Affirmative Action. It isn’t. Mitt wasn’t trying to fill quotas. He’s a businessman. He saw a lack of female employees as a drain on payroll. He was save money by hiring women and paying them less than he would men in the same position, saving his state at least 23 cents on the dollar. Sound business. And I’m pretty sure that if if didn’t save money the way Romney wanted it to, he would have gone with plan B, which would have moved the cabinet to a call center outside of Mumbai. So as you can see, there was nothing affirmative about Romney’s actions at all.

How is it that when I hear the hoots and hollers from the left about Romney’s binders of women, I can picture the same people hooting and hollering at Lincoln about his team of rivals? It’s the same thing. Lincoln hired people that he really shouldn’t have and Romney felt the same way. As Lincoln freed the slaves, so too did Romney hire women. History does repeat itself.

You’re welcome.

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Romney Proves Obama Bad President (& Father) By Debating Like Teenage Girl and Still Winning

Mitt Romney gave nothing  short of a masters class in what I am trademarking ing the Nuh-Uh Strategy in his appearance in the debate last night. In doing so, Romney treated Obama to a cold dish of obduracy that had Malia and Sasha scrambling to take notes for future reference and more than a few political leaders dreading having to face it across the negotiating table when Romney becomes president.

So how does Nuh-Uh strategy work? Well, as it names implies, the primary rule is to deny. And not just deny some things. Deny everything and anything. Even if it’s true.  Even if you had just said what the other person is saying you said, deny you ever said it. Case in point. Obama says Romney’s tax plan calls for $5 trillion in  tax cuts. “Nuh-uh,” Romney says. It does, Obama  continues. “Nuh-uh,” Romney counters. But it does, Obama  states again half-heartedly. “Nuh-uh,” Romney chirps.  Point Romney. A point won by the Republican nominee denying that he plans on cutting taxes. What is even better for Romney is that everyone already knows he is so planning on cutting taxes that much. But as any teenage girl will tell you, the truth doesn’t matter as long you look good lying.

And Romney, to all the left’s amazement and consternation, looked better lying than Obama did trying to tell the truth. Obama didn’t have a chance as he played the harried dad frustrated by the antics of Romney’s Gidget Incarnate (pre-pro-labor, of course) as he befuddledly fumbled about his answers as if he was just asked by a newly post-pubertal Romnette on her prom night how do you know if it’s the right time to, know you, do it.

And there you have it. Romney now have many people saying today that Romney never looked more presidential as when he acts like a spoiled 15 year old girl who really really wants that new iPhone.

You’re welcome.

 

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Barack Obama Stops Being Secretly Muslim to Be Secretly Black

A tip of a wholly non affectatious hat to Matt Drudge for uncovering this outrageous piece of video in which Obama not only calls for racial disharmony but does it in an accent that both Drudge and Hannity call out immediately as wholly affectatious. How dare Obama speak to a black audience as if he speaks black. Luckily, both Drudge and Hannity have hung around with Herman Cain and Alan Keyes enough (twice, three would be more than enough believe you me) to know how real black people talk. The problem of course was not his affectatious accent but his real rhetoric. I’m paraphrasing here a bit in that Obama implied, well I inferred that he implied, that perhaps they should burn the mother up. And in mother I am guessing that I’m thinking that Obama was speaking of America and not his actual mother, him having not used the words mother and/or America as far as I can remember so the implication Obama was making according to my inference was a bit strained which he tends to do.

But even more damaging for Obama is that in this video taped some time before yesterday in the small window of time when Obama wasn’t running for president (if that windows even exists, it’s that small slit of a window allowing only a small bit of sunshine into the basement level of a split foyer suburban home) he calls Reverend Wright a friend worthy of acknowledgment. Yes, that Reverend Wright. So here is Obama on tape as if he said it tonight, which he did in a way since it is on tape, bowing to the man who said that God has damned America not for kowtowing to the gays (which God is still pissed about according to Pat Robertson) but for some outrageous reason that I would actually have to watch more than the five second snippet to know but I won’t because he said God Damn America on it.

Hannity and Drudge talk about more of the smoking gun moments on this video that has not seen the light of day since 2007 or so, give or take every year since then, mainly give. I’m sure you have seen it so I won’t go too deep into it since I haven’t. But there is a point that both Hannity and Drudge glance over and perhaps need to take a closer look. It is when Obama calls out these men of religion (the audience was a gathering of black ministers) for not doing enough. How dare this man so disrespect these men of God, especially since he disrespects them everyday by never mentioning God ever except when he needs to act like he does believe in God but he doesn’t since even when he talks about God, its only in an affectatious way and God is all lowercase which I can’t even bring myself to write.

So, to Hannity and Drudge, you’re welcome. And I’m pretty sure Michelle Malkin will go with this angle as well.

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