Ivanka Trump is new FLOTUS, Will Be First SAWHM*

Donald Trump has picked his daughter Ivanka Trump First Lady Of The United States as well as her reported Secret Service code name which will be “My daughter. . .” while cupping both of one’s hands over one’s chest as to imply a big bosom. Whether or not Jared Kushner will join her in the White House has not been discussed but has most likely been decided.

Melania Trump, who was also in the running for FLOTUS, released a statement.

“The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.”

When it was pointed out that this quote was somewhat reminiscent of a quote some may attribute to former First Lady Jaqueline Kennedy, Melania said Kennedy didn’t even know Donald so how could she say such things about him. She then pointed out that “Donald is still alive, unlike some husbands. I am winking now to demonstrate that while I do not name his name but I mean her husband. Whose name is not on the tip of my tongue right now.” The rest of the statement can be found here.

Ivanka’s tenure will not be the first time a woman other than a spouse has performed this duty for their father.  Harriet Lane ran the White House for her uncle, James Buchanan. The Tyler daughters also took on the duties of First Ladies for their father. “It happened all the time for a lot of presidents,” Trump bellowed to no one in particular. “It’s not creepy at all so many people are saying that it is not. It’s so normal.”

*Stay at the White House Mom

He’s Jewish. So, there you go.

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About Jeffrey Frey

Jeffrey Frey (pronounced Jeff FREE FREE) likes to say he was born twice as free. But unlike others who may take for granted that glorious birthright, he shares that freedom with you the reader, who most likely will again take his insights for granted. This doesn’t bother Jeff since freedom, unlike marriage, should be available to everyone.
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