Scott Brown Tells Warren to Give Indian Heritage Back

Scott Brown, a Brown American who has never tried to get ahead because of it (that summer he worked on his uncle’s farm, almost constantly shirtless, sweat glistening in the very sun that toasted a young fit Scotty to a dark ochre does not count though it will always hold a special place in his uncle’s heart, who as it turns out was not Scot’s real uncle but a neighbor who was all the boys’ uncle and amateur photographer,) would  not let the people of Massachusetts forget what is the most important issue of the race for his Senate seat. And that is of course not the economy or foreign policy or Washington’s tone deaf reactions to social issues,  but Elizabeth Warren’s race and the lack thereof.

Elizabeth Warren has for too long draped herself in the guise of the Native American; and unlike the patriots at the Boston Tea Party who pretended to be noble savages for a good cause, she has only used it for personal gain, collecting coups such as getting into Ivy league-adjacent Rutgers Law School-Newark, something the white daughter of a janitor and a GWU debate scholarhship winner would never be able to do. But hopefully, Brown has thrown a wet, smallpox-infested blanket on Warren’s so-called Native American heritage.

Many on the left have gone on the warpath because Brown is only stating the obvious: Elizabeth Warren does not appear to be Native American. They say that he was being bigoted in pointing her skin. Scott Brown, though, never mentioned skin color; it was the liberals speaking with forked tongues who brought up her skin.

Brown, in saying that Warren didn’t seem to be Native American,  was obviously speaking of the many factors beyond mere skin color that makes him doubt her claims. The absence of ceremonial dress such as a feathered headdress that displays the many coups she has counted that she would be wearing with pride to all public functions is one. Not once has Elizabeth Warren been seen in public wearing a chest plate made of bison bones and colorful beads. No scalps collected from settlers. And in her everyday appearnaces, not once has she worn  an ill-fitting trucker hat or t-shirt with the totem of the casino her tribe owns but lets the mob run. There are no tears as she witnesses the trash littering our decaying infrastructure. Speaking of roadways, I think there’s only one person in the race who actually owns a pickup truck. I’ll give you a hint as to the owner: it isn’t tireless, up on blocks in someone’s overgrown yard.

Or maybe it is her physique rather than the color of skin that does not fit. She doesn’t seem to be suffering from morbid obesity or liver disease (which I guess would change her skin color to yellow but that’s difference) which seem to be the fad among her people these days. Also, her fingers aren’t stained brown from smoking way too many way too cheap cigarettes.

And if you think these are bigoted observations rather than accepted generalizations, then you are calling Sherman Alexie a bigot. And Louise Erdrich. A woman. Because if I took one thing away from that stupid American Lit course I had to take my junior year, these descriptors are pretty much it. And that Asian women are warriors.

So I applaud Brown taking this heroic, dare I say Custerian, stand and perhaps it will be his Wounded Knee and not the Little Big Horn Warren is hoping for.

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About Jeffrey Frey

Jeffrey Frey (pronounced Jeff FREE FREE) likes to say he was born twice as free. But unlike others who may take for granted that glorious birthright, he shares that freedom with you the reader, who most likely will again take his insights for granted. This doesn’t bother Jeff since freedom, unlike marriage, should be available to everyone.
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