Storm Takes GOP Convention by Ron Paul

I have already written the history of Hurricane Isaac outside the walls of the Tampa Bay Times Forum. And while it may not play out the way I have played it out thanks to the appeasement of  Reince Repeatus* of the Climate Changers and their forecasts of doom for Tampa based solely on the fact that a hurricane is a destructive force that would wreck destruction and death along its path. Not once did he even think about whether or not God would really interrupt Mike Huckabee’s speech that was scheduled for Monday in which he would have undoubtedly given full voice to the cause (a cause that I will not name since that would only muddy the waters around the cause and Mitt Romney is running for office for Pete’s Sake)  that has been misrepresented in the media for the past week? Thanks God, Romney has continued his strategy of not wanting to give any solid support to any issue by telling interviewers he would not comment at all on the cause or it could be a lot worse for everyone, especially the people that the cause is trying to save.

But I am not here to speak of the brewing storm outside, but the one that will happen inside. Again, Thanks, Repeatus* for moving the floor vote to Tuesday so the whole world can see the influence that Ron Paul doesn’t have on the GOP.

Now, I have nothing at all against Ron Paul. For a Libertarian, he makes a great Republican (Double entendre alert: I mean he makes a great republican himself and he made a great republican-his son Rand Paul.) But the people he has invited into our big tent are not really the type that I for one would like to be trapped with in a tent that may be washed away by a hurricane.

These patchouli-drenched hooligans and their plan to disrupt the floor vote are fueled primarily by their consumption of the marijuana, their non-medicinal use making a mockery of people who must seek unorthodox medicinal relief from glaucoma or, say, chronic pain associated with inoperable pilonidal cysts, and their misguided wish to end both the War on Drugs and the Patriot Act.

Attacking the Patriot Act I’m not so worried about since the Patriot Act will ultimately make sure people who attack it will never see justice or sunlight again. But the War on Drugs? Really? These people want to dismantle one of Ronald Reagan’s greatest contribution to American Society. He will be rolling in his final resting place (which as it turns out is next to Nancy in their marriage bed since she has had him perserved so they could spend the rest of her living days together, kind of  like that story by that one writer from Mississippi, not  John Grisham the other guy, that we all had to read in high school. So who is buried at Reagan Library? Bonzo, who Reagan had had preserved and had in his bedroom kind like that exact same story by that guy, not Norman, or is that Nora Roberts I don’t think) to see the people he had found so reprehensible as governor of California actually disrupting the floor vote just because they aren’t happy with the presumptive nominee? Reagan in all his dignity would never ever stand for such a sideshow. Ever. Never.

So thanks again, Reince Repeatus*.

And You’re welcome.

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About Jeffrey Frey

Jeffrey Frey (pronounced Jeff FREE FREE) likes to say he was born twice as free. But unlike others who may take for granted that glorious birthright, he shares that freedom with you the reader, who most likely will again take his insights for granted. This doesn’t bother Jeff since freedom, unlike marriage, should be available to everyone.
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